Monday, January 4, 2010

fight the powers that be

in my hospital bed, refusing chemo. nurses come in and out and ask what's up and i keep saying, "everything's fine. but i'm not having any more chemo. i've had enough."

so my dad's here, backing me up, along with soraya, my sis-in-law, who is politely willing to go along with whatever idiotic thing i say. (this is where she's spending her birthday, poor thing)

basically, i'd like further testing before they shoot any more battery acid, dry cleaning fluid or steroids into my body. just spent a little time reading about the side effects - immediate and future - and i am freaked out.

steroids will, later in life, give me weak brittle bones. the chemo increases my chances of later cancers by 10%, the specific drugs i am getting can cause kidney tumors, leukemia and that's just the good stuff.

i've got mouth sores, candida, digestive issues, eyes are permanently red and swollen and the lashes are falling out.

and they all keep telling me i am the healthiest chemo patient they have!

i will keep you updated.


  1. Sending you support from Boston. xx

  2. I would be lying if I said this wasn't unsettling, because it is. It is your life, your health, your body and ultimately your decision to choose what is best for yourself. I am sure you didn't arrive at this in the blink of an eye. I am sure there was careful research. I am waiting patiently to see the outcome for today. Sending prayers and well wishes. I look forward to meeting you in the future.