Wednesday, December 30, 2009


had a beautiful 24 hours with sasha.

so grateful that i have such a sensitive child in my life. getting to see the world through the eyes of a 16 year-old is rare and lovely.

suddenly, everything is pristine and sparkling as a fresh snow fall. things are faceted with possibilities.

sasha is not always easy, but she is kind, fragile and, as a teenager should, wears her emotions so close to the surface you can almost run your fingertips across them feel them trembling. sometimes, an immersion into her vulnerability leaves me so breathless and raw, i can barely speak.

at the moment, she is full of questions about her own strengths and talents, the painful process of learning to balance pleasure and self-discipline and of course, the anger an adolescent has towards her authority figures. (and there are lots of times when we deserve it.)

feeling so lucky i am able to listen to her, lucky that she is the person who ended up being my daughter.

so after 24 hours of being really stressed-out and worried about my kids, i convinced james to bring sasha home for a bit of a reconnection. she spent the night, went to see a friend, and then we hung out all afternoon until james came to pick her up for the evening.

now relieved and a bit sad because i miss her, too.

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