Tuesday, December 15, 2009

cancer diaries- more FAQ about hair

your hair falls out from chemo.

and let me clarify, it's not just the hair on the top of your head. it's ALL your hair.

first i was bummed about losing my eyebrows, but the appeal of only shaving my legs very gently and then not at all, losing my mustache, my arm hair which is constantly being ripped out by bandages and tape when i get IVs and injections

and all the pleasures of a brazilian wax without the pain

are really winning out.

the amazons are bothered by my being bald. and my mum is so freaked out, she keeps readjusting my hat at home and she won't let me take it off while she's around (for the next 2 weeks, at least).

but i am enjoying both the shock and the androgyny.

there is something weirdly liberating in having no hair and being so skinny that one's body is all angles. i can suddenly see the pleasure an anorexic might take in having totally controlled the fecund nature of the human form.

it's so asexual as to be beautiful. sculptural and alien.

people are suggesting hats, scarves, earrings.

whereas i am enjoying the purity and simplicity of shape.

perhaps i am strange but - as when i was pregnant - i love watching the metamorphosis of my form. my body never ceases to please and astound me in all the shapes it takes.

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