cancer diaries

"make an effort"

while going through all this craziness that is cancer treatment, a friend who recovered from breast cancer gave me a piece of advice, "this is the time to wear make-up."

i suggest you avoid going all out so you don't look a slightly mad scrawny old coot with little circles of rouge on your cheeks but

i do think it makes a huge difference to get up in the morning, take a shower, use all your facial moisturizer products and blush and concealer and eyeliner. (whether you put mascara on your three remaining eyelashes is up to you, i don't because i feel i look desperate)

put on any fragrance that doesn't make you gag and wear somewhat attractive clothes that you could leave the house in

even if you just plan to go back to bed.

though if i am going to see my doctors, i might even tart myself up a bit more and dress like i am going to work. then when i ask questions, i feel more confident and professional.

on a day when i am staying home, i like to tidy up a bit and make my bed before i get back into it. it gives me a sense of calm and order and control.

somehow, wandering around in the same pajames and slippers you've worn for the past three days, leaving a trail of dirty dishes makes you feel like a tragic sick person

which of course, despite having cancer, you are not.

you are getting better all the time.