Tuesday, December 29, 2009

co-parenting in the time of cholera

trying to be consistent with another parent is hard enough when your life is normal and you're together, but when you're sick and immobile

and the other parent is an exhusband with a new partner and he privately thinks you are deranged and power-hungry,

it is almost impossible.

so while i'm in hospital getting chemo - dad "trusted" them when they texted to say that they were at friends' houses - and they, like any smart teenagers, stayed in our empty apartment and threw a party that got so out of control, the neighbors had to come downstairs and close it down.

i found because my neighbor kindly texted me in hospital to ask if it had been ok'ed.

dad was most angry - not because random drunk people were showing up at his unchaperoned teenaged daughters' door - but because they made him look stupid.

the following weekend, when i was back in chemo and they were grounded for their illicit party, there was a change in travel plans.

dad was stuck with the kids on saturday night when he had somewhere to go and so did his girlfriend.

so he decided, yet again, he "trusted" them and planned to leave them in HIS apartment alone, this time with the younger sister. fortunately, my brother went and picked them up and brought them home.

his response - he doesn't like "being a policeman."

thus homework is not often done, the girls wear inappropriate clothes and talk back (all like normal teenagers) - but there is no parent either physically able or willing to monitor them.


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