yuck

still feeling nauseated and tired today.

guess i shouldn't complain. only day 1 past in-patient chemo which is the worst.

read lisa ray's blog today http://lisaraniray.wordpress.com/

which cheered me up since she seems to be going through the same stuff. injecting ourselves with gcf to increase the white blood cell count. which, in my case, gives me excruciating pain in my hips and legs - it seems that's where my body makes it's store of protection.

i heard from zia it's impossible to get it in south africa, so i am lucky.

in any case, my hair is so patchy, falling out like the pine needles from the tree after christmas. my pillow is dotted with tiny black needles.

i tried to shave it a bit myself in the shower and ended up looking like a doll with a chewed up head.

it reminded me of a baby doll i was given when i was small and loved all her hair and eyelashes right off her. my mother had to sew a little dress with a hood for her so that she still looked civilized.

anyway, it felt weird so i called zarina in with the mirror and realized how hideous i looked.

and then sasha had to come in and try shave it properly with the razor. and then it still looked terrible.

so after that, i had to ask rara to try and shave the remaining parts with a tiny electric razor designed for trimming your mustache and eyebrows.

now i just need some self-tanner for my scalp so it matches my face.