Sunday, March 28, 2010

two weeks of work and 14 laps

two weeks in a very fast-paced, deadline-packed office and i feel the same as i do in the pool.

i am a tiny piece of string on the surface of the water. no power in my arms and legs. i kick and move my arms but they barely propel me forwards. all of a sudden, everything cramps up in my shoulders and i am convinced i'll be paralyzed and start sinking like a stone but instead, i keep moving, keep working through it, try and concentrate on my legs so they can take some pressure off my arms, thinking about flexing my stomach and hip muscles so i move from my core rather than my upper body. all of a sudden, i've almost done half-a-mile.

but it's not easy.

some days at work i still think i am so exhausted i will not survive another minute, i have got to go home to bed, i cannot do it without caffeine. my whole body hurts, my skull cramps from the cold office air, my feet and ankles throb from walking on pavement and i just keep drinking water and keep going.

in the meantime, the drama from friends and family members keeps spinning around me. i come home and just want to collapse in bed, lie silently in total darkness and listen only to my breathing. but instead, i deal with listen to people's frustration and complaints and think that my body will not survive another onslaught on my psyche. my stomach burns.

and somehow, everything gets done and i live through it.

it's a grueling marathon, this life.

but it's getting better all the time...

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