Friday, October 23, 2009

upstairs downstairs

so we're finally all used to life at 9 north moore. the amazons enjoy having their own space downstairs. it's a sort of mini-haven for teenaged girls.

actually, our whole apartment is girl-world.

upstairs is work/meals/tv - MY space

downstairs is the enormous walk-in closet, the sofa and lots of space for fashion shows, skylight for flattering adolescent faces and a washing machine for all the towels that end up all over the floor.

as for me, i am feeling a bit like job - blown away by the scourges and maliciousness that seems to surround me.

the rats ate the wiring of my new car. the infestation of fruit flies continues. my health is questionable. james is taking me off his insurance just in time. the amazons are rude and spoiled.

it's not that i don't see the part i play in all this but it still makes me tired. somehow i am feeling so exhausted that when i went to the doctor yesterday and she said she was worried about my possibly having cervical cancer - i felt totally relieved.

just the thought of an escape route set me free.

the end of worrying about bills, making sure everyone does their homework and eats meals and doesn't get in trouble. the end of balancing exhusbands and parents and my career and even the dog.

suddenly it all seems like an inconsequential game.

i was walking down the street looking at the clear blue sky making the tops of the buildings glisten

and i just started laughing.

it's time to get back to just writing. and if it goes nowhere - what difference will it make?

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