Fearless Dessert! Crackpie made EVEN MORE addictive!

I am totally indebted to my friend Evangeline Kim for making this recipe. I had only once tasted a teensy bit of Momofuko Milk Bar's famous crack pie but since they used wheat and refined sugar, I didn't really go further. Cut to five or six years' later and she was telling us how delicious it was and offered to make one while staying here. I challenged her to make a version I could eat (without sugar or wheat). So here it is - and if you eat it warm, topped with a dollop of coconut cream - you will literally not be able to stop in until you have to lie down on the floor and unbutton your trousers in total surrender.

Personally, I would not make this myself as it is too labor-intensive and then I would just eat it all up if it was lying around the fridge BUT - it would be the best thing ever to take with you when you get invited somewhere for thanksgiving or a party and there are no desserts that you can eat and everyone is making you feel like a loser as they chow down. When you bring this, they will all be won over to your side. They will all be talking about how ridiculous it is that everyone can't eat healthy and it's so easy and delicious. 

Or eat it all yourself.

 

Organic, Paleo, Gluten-Free, NO REFINED SUGAR - even VEGAN - TOTALLY ADDICTIVE Crackpie

Ingredients - recipe adapted from the Bon Appetite one.

Servings: 4-10 (depends on people's self-control)
 

Cookie Crust

• Coconut oil or grass-fed butter to grease baking pan
• 9 tablespoons coconut oil or grass-fed, organic butter
• 7 tablespoons coconut sugar or 4 tablespoons of monk fruit sweetener
• 1 heaping tablespoon ground chia seeds mixed with 4 tablespoons of water (or 1 organic egg)
• 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons old-fashioned oats
• 1/4 cup almond flour
• 1/4 cup coconut flour 
• 1/8 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2-1/4 teaspoon sea salt

Filling

• 1 1/4 cup coconut sugar or 3/4 cup of coconut sugar and 1 tablespoon of monk fruit to taste
• 1 tablespoon coconut milk powder (or colostrum powder)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 8 tablespoons coconut oil (or grass-fed butter) 
• 6 1/2 tablespoons coconut cream
• 3/4 cup avocado puree (or 4 large organic egg yolks)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

Preparation (prep: 40 min, total: 15 hrs - It's long. Plan in advance.)

Cookie Crust

• Preheat oven to 300°F. Line 13x9x2-inch metal baking pan with parchment paper; coat with coconut oil or butter. Combine 6 tablespoons oil/butter, 6 tablespoons coconut sugar in medium bowl. Beat mixture until light and fluffy, occasionally scraping down sides of bowl, about 2 minutes. Add ground chia seed mixture or egg; beat until pale and fluffy. Add oats, almond and coconut flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt and beat until well blended, about 1 minute. Turn mixture out onto prepared baking pan; press out evenly to edges of pan. Bake until light golden on top, 17 to 18 minutes. Transfer baking pan to rack and cool cookie completely.
• Using hands, crumble oat cookie into large bowl; add 3 tablespoons coconut oil/butter and 1 1/2 tablespoons coconut sugar. Rub in with fingertips until mixture is moist enough to stick together. Transfer cookie crust mixture to 9-inch-diameter glass pie dish. Using fingers, press mixture evenly onto bottom and up sides of coconut oil or butter greased pie dish. Place pie dish with crust on rimmed baking sheet.

Filling

• Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 325°F. Whisk coconut sugar, coconut milk or colostrum powder, and salt in medium bowl to blend. Add coconut oil or melted butter and whisk until blended. Add coconut cream, then pureed avocado/egg yolks and vanilla and whisk until well blended. Pour filling into crust. Bake pie 30 minutes (filling may begin to bubble). Reduce oven temperature to 300°F. Continue to bake pie until filling is brown in spots and set around edges but center still moves slightly when pie dish is gently shaken, about 20 minutes longer. Cool pie 2 hours in pie dish on rack (If you can resist it. 30 minutes in is about when I ate the first half of the pie, I globbed the coconut cream on top).
  
  Chill whatever you can save uncovered overnight.

  

  The coconut sugar and coconut cream makes for a darker pie, but since there is slightly less of a sugar rush - and it's balanced with the higher protein and fiber - it doesn't knock you out quite so fast. But it DOES have fructose - so easy on it! Maybe try substituting Monk Fruit in places?

Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover so that no one knows what it is; keep chilled. Lock up your fridge.

The C-Word: Fearless Blondies!

I read somewhere that when you crave chocolate, you are actually craving protein and minerals so this is one solution - a snack that has both dark chocolate (magnesium!) and a highly-digestible protein, mineral, fat and fiber combination that helps in balancing hormones. Look up chickpeas to see how much you need them.

Overwhelmed with a sugar jones - usually because I haven't had enough sleep, am feeling anxious about something, my hormones are out of whack or I have a little candida - these blondies help curb them (or maybe surrender to them).

I bake a bunch and freeze some. They have that wickedly satisfying sweet-salty-chewy crumbly feeling which you can suddenly feel desperate for if you don't eat grains, refined sugar or processed foods. So here's my version of the great recipe from ambitious kitchen (I LOVE her). Mine are slightly lighter and cakier, hers are fudgier (they both have their benefits).

gluten-free, paleo, vegan chickpea blondies! 

Get out the food processor. Sorry to say that big old food processor is really a necessity here. I've done it in the vitamix and it doesn't come out as well. But you can try it.

Stuff you need:

food processor (or powerful blender)
spatula (to scrape it out of the food processor)
8 x 8 baking pan
oven

Ingredients:

1 can of chickpeas
1 tablespoon of ground chia seeds
4 tablespoons of water or vanilla hemp milk
1/2 cup of vanilla hemp milk
1/2 cup of peanut or almond butter (or sunflower butter if you want it to be nut-free)
1/4 teaspoon of baking soda
1/4 teaspoon of baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of sea salt (at the moment, I am into Hawaiian red salt) plus 1/4 to sprinkle on top
2 tablespoons of vanilla extract

1 bag of dark chocolate chips (get good ones, it will make a difference - this time we used callebaut - which DO have sugar but not a lot)

1 (more or less) tablespoon of coconut (or ghee or butter if you don't mind it not being vegan) to grease the pan.

Turn the oven on to 350 degrees.

In the food processor, just put everything in there, except for the chocolate chips, 1/4 teaspoon of the salt, the grease for the pan, the chia seeds and the hemp milk.

In a teacup, mix the chia seeds with the water or hemp milk to get a gloopy, viscous, eggy mixture. This replaces egg - though you can save time and just drop an egg in there to be more paleo. Add this and the rest of the hemp milk to the food processor.

Pulse, puree, whatever until the entire thing is smooth. Taste for sweetness and saltiness. I don't add sugar, but if you want, you could use whatever sweetener you feel good with - coconut sugar, stevia, lucuma, lankanto - I've heard good things about it, it's made of monk fruit and you can use it for cooking, but I've never done it myself. The chocolate chips are sweet and the nut butters are naturally sweet so just taste what works for you. If you add more flavorings, pulse a little more.

Open the lid of the food processor, dump in half to 3/4 bag of chocolate chips. Stir them around with the spatula - don't turn the machine back on or you will puree them too!

If you want to give them to someone who is not well or needs a little extra love, while you stir them up, think healing and loving thoughts. Imagine that people eating your blondies are immediately healed from whatever is ailing them. Imagine energy coming from your core straight into the batter. You can even say a little prayer and ask your Source to infuse your blondies with healing power. (Note: the person you are sending healing to can be you. We all need it sometimes).

That's how you "reiki" them.

Now grease the pan well with whichever grease you've chosen. I like some raw, sea salty, grassfed butter here but coconut oil tastes buttery too.

Pour the batter into the pan, use the spatula to spread it all out. Sprinkle the rest of the chocolate chips on top, use the spatula to squish them down a little. Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon of large-grained sea salt around.

Put the pan in the oven and bake for 20-30 minutes depending on your oven. I've noticed big variations on baking times depending on the oven and the liquidity of the batter. The way to tell if they are ready is that they are slightly brown on the edges and have pulled away from the sides of the pan and the center is set and not jiggley.

Paleo, gluten-free, nut-free chickpea blondies!

Like that.

If they are undercooked, don't kill yourself. All the ingredients are perfectly safe and good raw and they will simply be more fudgey when they cool. If they are overcooked or slightly burned, they will probably still taste delicious - it's all good.

Even really picky kids and my dad will eat them (don't blow it like me and get all overexcited about the ingredients before they put them in their mouths so that they don't even want to try them).

I have been told I am a food fascist...but go out and make your own!