The C-Word: Recalibration, Reconnection and Revitalization

My oldest daughter, Sasha, said to us this morning, "Hey, corona virus is over."

Both my youngest daughter, Rara, and myself stared at her. We were in the vast emptiness and quintessential Western landscape of Joshua Tree. Staying in an airbnb that is a run down old house with a coat of paint and made habitable with stuff from Walmart. 

Rara by the pool

The roads are dusty and designed for the occasional pick-up trucks that speed down them. The sun is hot and harsh and the open spaces are dotted with Dr. Seuss-type "trees," cactus and shrubs. Rabbits hop in and out of view. In the rare but wide-spreading trees, birds cluster and chirp at the top of their voices. 

Standing in the reflected glare of the concrete pool, I felt a sudden ease. A weight lifted off me. 

I said, "Wait, what?" 

I don't even remember if Rara said anything.  Sasha turned around and wrinkled her nose. squinting in the sunlight at us. She said, "April fools."

We were all silent. 

In the desert, the massive sky weighs more. In the cold night, it is heavy with sparkling stars. It is easy to feel connected to the breath and rhythm of nature here. 

Nature is recalibrating us. It is reminding us that we are all connected to each other. That borders, races, faiths, beliefs are human-created separations. We are just one of the species or families of living beings who rely on this planet to feed and shelter us. In order to survive, we must rely on each other. We must learn to respect not only every human life but every other kind of life. 

What's interesting to me about the new social or physical distancing rules is that it forces us to see other people as few humans. To step off or on the sidewalk or out of a supermarket aisle to allow someone else their 6 feet of safety means that you must acknowledge another person's presence. One can't just pretend that the other person is an object. 

On our video conferences, we see into other people's living rooms. We hear their families or pets. In some ways, we become even closer even as we crave the touch and scent of other humans. We are social animals and this is a deeply difficult exercise for us. 

I have moments where I find having to stare at a screen, whether to shop, connect or learn, irritating and unsatisfying. The wrong medicine for me. I don't answer texts or emails sometimes because I can't bear to look at my phone or my laptop. I don't want to talk on the phone, I want to have a cup of tea or a drink with a real person in a different setting. 

On April fools' day, I considered the idea that this state is the new normal. That life for the next month or several months involves little to no social interaction, except for trips to the supermarket or for me, the cold-pressed juice place I love. (Fortunately, food shopping no longer turns into panic buying of things one doesn't need. While most stores are sold out of many things - toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning products - there is lots of fresh produce. Most places have re-stocked their soups, beans, rice and pasta.) 

As incomes dip, we are all learning what we don't need. Learning to make do with what we already have. And as the Native Americans or many indigenous peoples teach, we are learning to leave something for others. 

For me, the exercise of Metta meditation is a powerful way to remind myself of my connection with others and myself. As an intuitive, I already know that we are all connected - that physical distance and time are also constructs. 

Metta, if you don't already practice, is translated from Pali (the original language of the Buddha) as "loving kindness." In today's world, that translation feels saccharine. A more palatable translation might be compassion. A compassion that is neither pity nor selflessness because it includes yourself in the process. 

It is also a great meditation for busy-mind non-meditating people. People who say, "I'm a do-er. I can't meditate." Or "As soon as I start trying to meditate, my mind just goes crazy." Metta works for us because it involves bringing images to mind and repeating phrases. It basically gives your overactive mind something to play with so the rest of you can spread out into the spaciousness of meditation. 

Different teachers and practitioners have different variations on the four phrases but here are the ones I like the best:

May I/you be happy

May I/you be healthy

May I/you be safe

May I/you live with ease (or be peaceful)

Finally, a Metta meditation is a revitalizing experience. It makes our connection with the life force in all beings into visceral reality.

Here it is. Feel free to listen as often as you like and/or share it with others. 

15-minute metta meditation

Again, I thank Jackson Nazario for his help with the recordings.

The C-Word: Laura Kepshire and Brennan Healing Science

if you are facing cancer, you know that it affects so much more than your physical body. (and, if you're coming along with me on this ride, you're realizing that it probably started, like so many other illnesses, in the tensions and anxieties and emotional states you've been through recently).

cancer, as it progresses, shakes your sense of self, uproots your belief system and your character and makes you question the people around you. that's why brennan and other energetic healing methods were so interesting to me, though i only experienced the brennan method personally after my cancer was "cured" or at least in remission.

in my case, i'd spent months focused internally. eating, drinking, thinking my body and spirit well. one good thing about having cancer (there's not a lot) is that you get an all-access pass. as horrid as you feel, you work it (though i can say from experience it does not work when a policeman is writing you a parking ticket).

when the cancer's gone, you have to open your eyes and face the devastation - the piles of unpaid bills and taxes, health insurance, things that are lost and broken including your career and/or your love life, your emotionally-drained kids and family members - and your support group tends to move on.

people who weren't around much when things were all crazy don't get that you are still in shock and wandering around in a daze. so all those people expect you to act like the same old person you were. when you are still so fragile, that can break you.

it was in the midst of this time that the anxiety got so overwhelming, i was scared i would get sick again. that was when a friend mentioned a brennan healer to me. she told me how great it made her feel and suggested i try it.

barbara brennan was a NASA physicist who, along with a UCLA-trained engineer turned healer and psychic, rosalyn bruyere, started exploring the energy fields surrounding the human body.

what brennan found was that it was possible to manipulate those energy fields, using light touch, and another person's own energy. the brennan practitioners use the language of ayurveda and buddhism when speaking about energies - referring to your chakras and auras. they manipulate these energy fields to "unblock" and release old issues that may be keeping your body and spirit from moving forwards.

laura kepshire is an incredible and very beautiful Brennan healer. she has worked wonders on many people i know, amongst them, me.

brennan healing is an especially good CAM, as they refer to it in the memorial sloan kettering literature. because you do it fully dressed, lying on a massage table, and the practitioner barely touches you, it needn't interfere with your chemo or radiation or recovery from surgery.

and because it activates your own immune system, it can help traditional cancer treatments work harder. it can also help mitigate the unpleasant side effects of chemo and radiation.

last of all, because it unblocks "stuck" energy or releases past trauma, there are those who say it can - along with diet, exercise and your arsenal of healers - cure you from illnesses all together.

one brilliant thing that a brennan healing session does is make you think about the message in your cancer. basically, any time you get sick, it's a message from your body and your spirit. for example, if you run yourself ragged, you get a flu. clearly, your body is telling you - stop, take a rest, sleep all day and get some more vitamin C and D. if you lose your temper, your blood pressure goes up. if you lose your temper too often or too easily, the inflammation from the constant surge of blood and heat in your body will cause other issues. the message is, breathe, calm down. focus on the important things.

since cancer is such a major systemic illness, there is probably a big message in there. think about it.

what struck me most about laura is that she walked in drinking a coffee (gasp) with milk (swallow) and most shocking - eating a muffin!

first of all, if you are a hardcore health fanatic like me, you rarely touch coffee - caffeine causes inflammation and can irritate the stomach lining - or dairy products - more inflammation, plus the mucus-causing issues - and, when it comes to wheat or sugar, never!

in laura's case, it was even more shocking as she had suffered from rheumatoid arthritis that was once so debilitating she couldn't walk. here she was breezily sipping her coffee and eating her muffin.

when i asked her about it, she laughed and told me that once she had unblocked the anger in her body, much of the inflammation disappeared, along with the arthritis. she said she no longer had to worry about dealing with the symptoms.

in the brennan healing science approach, the root of the illness is the energy blockage and the illness itself is the symptom.

when i experienced the treatment, i felt brilliant colored waves of energy rushing through my body like water. i came out relaxed and relieved. the tension that hummed through my body had gone quiet.

since i was not in the throes of an illness, i could only afford two treatments - along with my organic vegetables, juices, supplements, acupuncture, massages, nutritionists and other healers - it was all getting expensive. and i still had to feed the amazons!

i wasn't able to experience its effects on a long-term basis. however, i have spoken to people who've had great success with it.

there are brennan healers all over the country. if it seems like an approach that would work for you, call one. they will usually give you a free consultation.

here is laura's information:

For more information on Brennan Healing Science and pricing contact me at: +1.646.283.3265, or by email at lkepshire@gmail.com

just remember, if you really want to get well, you will. you just have to find the best way to get yourself there. 

The C-Word: don't be afraid of death or cancer

my first and key piece of advice to all cancer patients.

it sounds like a joke but i am really serious. this is more important than giving up sugar.

if you are ever diagnosed with cancer, if your friend or family member is, tell them, tell yourself, this first.

do not be afraid.

because when you get to the doctor's office, you will be in a panic. you're so scared of cancer that you're terrified you're about to die. and then the doctor, in a calm and bossy voice will tell you what to do. and like a robot, you will just listen and do they tell you.

and that can get you in a lot of trouble. fear does that.

if your doctor says - like mine did when i'd just come in for an examination - "you can't leave, i am checking you into the hospital right away," your heart will be beating so hard, blood will all rush to your head, pumping behind your eyes and throbbing through your skull. you won't be able to see or hear properly and your adrenaline will kick in.

then you won't consult other doctors, you won't know if this is the best treatment for your body, you won't know if you like the facility you are in, you won't even know if you like the way your doctor speaks to you.

if on the other hand, you say, "i'll go home and put things in order and come in tomorrow morning," you will have a little time to discover that you are a capable and functioning adult. you can say, "i don't want a transfusion, i want..."

you can take a deep breath and realize that cancer is not a death sentence. if you look around at your life and your lifestyle, you may notice the triggers that made you ill (i think they jump out at you at crucial moments, when you're first diagnosed, you might have a moment of clarity).

you may discover that tons of people you know have experienced cancer on some level and recovered. and then gone back to their lives as if it almost never happened.

you might take some time to do some research (i guarantee you, cancer will NOT kill you overnight and once you start treatment, it's harder to seek out other options because the treatment can be so time-consuming and overwhelming). there are a lot of different kinds of cures, not all in hospitals. and different cancers respond to different kinds of medicines - whether they are chemotherapy and radiation - or whether they are sound therapy and acupuncture.

sometimes, it's good to combine one or two or several. take the time to understand your particular cancer and how it works because once you get on the medical merry-go-round, they might not take the time to explain it to you.

even if you just have 45 minutes - take that time and meditate and take your body's temperature - psychically - what feels ok and where you feel pain or energy blocks. try and be aware of your being before the doctors start telling you what they think.

this was useful for me, because when i got to the hospital and the doctors started telling i was going to die or i wasn't going to make it, i KNEW i wasn't that sick. though yes, i had that same moment of panic, where i was trembling in a cold sweat and doing endless MRIs and CAT scans (i had three of my brain in one day) and i knew it was a bad idea but i was too scared to say no.

this is why you need to not be scared of death.

the reason is, when you're dead, you're dead. no worries. no stress. no aches. no painful treatments. no obnoxious relations (or teenaged children).

no cancer.

no one should frighten you into anything that way.

what you are scared of is having your quality of life affected. you should be scared of getting a treatment that doesn't work for you body or your kind of cancer. you should be scared of having a doctor who doesn't listen to your concerns or explain the details of your treatment in advance.

it's true. discovering that you have cancer, a real diagnosis, not a moment of hypochondria, is really scary. for a moment, you feel like you just fell off a horse. the wind is knocked out of you and your skin chills. you can't believe it's real.

but get ahold of yourself.

the diagnosis is not the end of the game. it isn't the end of the line for you. in fact, it's the opposite. because a major illness can shake you to the core and then force you to make the major changes your life needs to get to the next level.

you are intelligent, questioning, caring. value yourself and the form god gave you. there is a reason you are here.

don't give up on yourself because you're intimidated. no one knows yourself better than you.

it's all in how you take it.

so don't be afraid.
get the steering wheel in your hands.