Last month, I found myself being the main part of a two-person rehab for my 82 year-old father. He has a long list of health issues, some of which landed him in the hospital, over and over in the past two years - none of which are COVID, just to reassure you. Part of my job was to help him re-learn how to walk after surgery on his femur and to strengthen his brain function after all of time in and out of medical facilities. My thought was that the more mobile and present he was, the more agency and autonomy, he might have. I should add that he was not especially interested in cooperating with this process.
What I also learned is that sugar is toxic to the brain. Sugar, in the form of refined sugar, wheat, rice, corn, agave, jams and fruit and in larger doses, honey and maple syrup, are so bad for the brain that Alzheimer's is now being called Type-3 Diabetes. If you have any sort of inflammation in your body, you owe it to yourself to give yourself 21 days without refined sugar, grains, dairy and soy. You'll be shocked at how much better you feel - though you do need to be quite strict to feel the effects.
Chocolate, on the other hand, with all its polyphenols and anti-inflammatory properties, is great for the brain and can also give you a burst of energy. The secret is to reduce or eliminate the refined sugar.
Unfortunately, my parents LOVE sugar in all of its forms. Eating sweets and simple carbohydrates is one of the great pleasures of my their lives. So every time I have looked after my father, I have worked on removing as much sugar and simple carbohydrates as I can from his diet and trying to discover treats for him that slow the absorption of the sugars and fortify brain and muscle function.
One dessert I love is the black bean brownies or cookies from Chocolate Covered Katie's Blog. She's pretty ingenious and has a whole bunch of interesting recipes. I highly recommend following her! ( https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/no-flour-black-bean-brownies/ ) My embedded link might not work!
I loved the ideas of black beans - more protein, a prebiotic, slowing down the absorption of the starch - along with cacao to also stimulate the brain. I also added medicinal mushrooms - lion's mane, chaga, cordyceps and reishi because the chocolate covers the bitter taste and they've shown success in some studies in reversing dementia. Since my version became quite thick, I made cookies instead of brownies and everyone (except my dad) asked for the recipe.
Here's my most recent version and how they came out:
Ingredients
3 cupsblack beans(2 15-oz tetrapacks, drained and rinsed very well)
4 tbspraw cacao
1 cup Bob's Paleo flour (almond, coconut and arrowroot)
1/2tspsalt
2/3cuppure maple syrup,honey or coconut sugar
20 drops of pure monk fruit (not Lakanto which contains erithritol)
1/2cup almond butter or coconut oil
4 tsppure vanilla extract
1 tspbaking powder
2 bags of low-sugar vegan chocolate chips(Not optional. Omit at your own risk)
1/4 cup of dried medicinal mushrooms
optional: one or two eggs for protein and a cakier texture
Sea salt for sprinkling
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 F.
Grease your baking sheets or pans.
Combine all ingredients except chips in a good food processor, and blend until completely smooth. Really blend well. (A blender can work if you absolutely must, but the texture—and even the taste—will be much better in a food processor). If it is impossibly thick, add a little nut milk, or if you are not vegan or want extra protein, add an egg or two.
At the end, fold in the chips, by hand.
Then drop by spoonfuls on to the cookie baking sheet.
Optional: sprinkle a good flaky sea salt (I like Maldon) on top of the cookies.
Bake them 15 minutes or till they look solid. I jiggle the pan a bit to see if they move around. Katie suggests letting cool for a few minutes before checking the texture. They will be a little crumbly but very fudgy.
Katie says - "If they still look a bit undercooked, you can place them in the fridge overnight and they will magically firm up! The trick with these: serve them first, and then reveal the secret ingredient. In all the times I’ve served bean desserts, not one single person who didn’t know beforehand has ever guessed!"
Recently (SHOCK!) I've learned why advice needs to be open-ended and neutral.
Or what do butterflies and baby birds have to do with advice?
I used to get irritated if I told someone they needed to eat more kale, broccoli and swiss chard and they ate donuts (or pretend health food like granola and yogurt) instead. My emotional reaction is common amongst parents of adult children, adult children regarding their parents, friends and siblings.
Someone you care about or are invested in does something that seems obviously unwise (or self-destructive) to you. So, even if they haven't asked you or paid you to tell them, you point it out.
Then the person to whom you have given this brilliant advice or insight just does their own thing.
That used to get to me.
There's that thing about helping a baby bird break out of its shell. When the bird emerges on its own, it gains the strength it needs to thrive in its life. When someone helps it, it becomes weak or handicapped. It's the same thing with butterflies. Those "helped" ones die.
When someone takes a decision on their own, they gain a greater sense of control and satisfaction. If I impose my views, I take ownership of their path. That means they trust themselves and their own judgment less. They don't learn what they are meant to learn. They get weaker.
It's like taking your kid's swim test for him/her. Obviously dangerous.
Giving advice or help with neutrality also helps me step away from my ego. I can only draw from my own body of knowledge and perception. I'm a medical intuitive, a health coach, a psychic and a medium but also a human - I am not omniscient. I don't know every possible solution or every possible way to get somewhere. I don't often know all the pieces of the puzzle.
My advice to myself?
If I deliver (asked-for) counsel with neutrality, I allow the person to have agency over their lives and their choices. My advice is not the only information they are using to move forwards.
If I deliver advice in an open-ended, nonjudgmental way, it is more likely the person will receive it in a way that helps and benefits them. It's not that I don't care what the person does, it's that I do care.
I have to believe that a person I care about is wise and intelligent.
I want a person I counsel to be happier, healthier, stronger and closer to their joy.
Advice is a gift and a resource.
Of course, the next steps in releasing my ego (or nafs, if you are a Muslim):
1. Not assuming my advice is the only way
2. Not getting angry if they don't follow my advice in any way
3. Not needing validation or appreciation for my advice
4. Not saying, "I told you so," if their experiences lead to some sort of disappointment (which can be a powerful lesson on its own)
5. Not taking or asking for ownership or credit if their experiences lead to some sort of positive end
If I do any of those five, it's about me. If I need to be right, valued, validated or credited, that's my insecurity. However, I do slip into all of these sometimes.
Notice how other people's problems are transparent and our own are opaque and complex?
So my advice on coaching, advising or counsel?
If you care how it lands - rather than wanting to bully or threaten someone into your point of view - you give it in a way that they can hear it, that they can use it without feeling diminished or controlled, and you give it like any true gift,
Guided visualizations have been shown to be surprisingly effective with a number of illnesses, cancer amongst them. I know a number of people who have shrunk tumors to zero. They have also been successful with multiple sclerosis, infections and recovering from brain and physical damage.
Famous amongst people who have healed their bodies with their minds are Joe Dispenza who almost miraculously recovered from an accident to regain full use of his body. He leads workshops that teach people how to meditate (using his guided visualizations) to heal themselves.
Along with working people on diet, supplements, lifestyle changes and unlocking trauma in their bodies, I give them a guided visualization meditation session. It is a mindfulness-based meditation inspired by the teachings of Jonathan Kabat-Zinn whose MBSR meditations have shown great success with people in chemotherapy and other treatments.
The guided visualization I do has multiple uses in my practice.
1. As medical intuitive, it allows me to travel inside their bodies, little by little, and bring awareness and light to what is happening and to see what imagery the body shows me.
2. It allows the client to reconnect with their bodies and their life force so they can notice places where their muscles, organs or tissues are out of resonance.
3. It gives the clients an opportunity to experience a guided meditation practice that he/she could use again and again when on his/her own.
It can also be a useful tool in strengthening the immune system against pathogens and harmful external forces whether those are the effects of radiation or chemotherapy or bacteria and viruses, from Lyme disease to Corona Virus.
I've discovered almost miraculous healing in my clients that surprises their doctors and also makes them happier. It can give you a sense of control over an illness as well as your body.
Given the current financial struggle many of us are facing, I wanted to offer a healing meditation to anyone who wants to work on healing an illness, strengthening their immune systems or simply finding a greater sense of connection with the body.
Right now, when resources are scarce, it's nice to find something you can do that costs nothing, doesn't require any extra tools or training and is also highly effective.
Many people I talk to about getting healthier say the same thing to me, "It's too much, Ameena. Maybe you could do it, but I can't change my diet. I can't change my lifestyle."
Yes. Yes you can.
If you want to.
I'm not trying to beat you up. But I know you can.
Think about this way - it's about long-term goals. Delayed gratification is very hard for people's brains to process. Myself, especially. I tend to be impulsive. When I want something, I want it NOW. I know the feeling.
You may realize you are able to do it in one way but not in another. Some people can save money. They say to themselves, "I'll skip going out to dinner or an extra drink for a bigger dent in my debt or my retirement savings." (I am not one of those people. Despite being middle-aged, retirement seems very far away. And my debt is amorphorous.)
For me, it's "I'll skip buying those boots or that coat, so I can pay the mortgage or rent." I can do short-term.
If you can think, "I'll skip that ice cream cone and my tummy/thighs/double chin will look flatter on Saturday night - or at the beach," which is just a few days' ahead, you can eat to stop or slow cancer or heart disease. If you can do a few crunches every evening, you can be stronger in less than a week.
The strict anticancer diet, which is very close to the Whole30 meal plan, is doable for impulsive people if you can think short term. You tell yourself, "If I skip the milk and sugar in my tea or coffee today, I will have so much more energy or no headache tomorrow." I can promise that you skip the grains and sweeteners (ALL of them, including artificial ones), you will definitely have a flatter stomach by tomorrow. Yes, you will probably feel a little worse while you detox (maybe for three days) and you will be dreaming about candy, but once you get rid of the addiction, you WILL feel and look amazing. Isn't that worth it? Three days to clear eyes and skin? 10 days to a glow?
Instead of thinking about giving stuff up forever, think about giving it up for a week. Or 30 days.
On evenings when you are tired and grumpy and the donuts are calling your name, you think, "Just til tomorrow. I won't eat them now and I will be so happy tonight. Then if I still feel like it, I can always get one tomorrow." When tomorrow comes, you do the same thing. Or maybe you think, "Just for an hour. I'll see if I still want one when I pass the next donut shop." Then when you pass the next donut shop, you say to yourself, "I'm almost home. I could make some sweet potatoes..." and so on.
why it's worth to stick to your anticancer diet. a cherokee proverb.
On the other hand, if you are a long-term thinking person, you say, "I'll skip sugar, dairy and grains so that I can make it to my daughter's wedding - or my granddaughter's wedding."
Or the way I think, "If I stay away from air pollution and toxins, exercise, meditate and eat organic and green today, I will remain self-sufficient and active until I die." Obviously, this is not totally controllable - I could get hit by a car or some other horrid thing, but similarly, I could lose all my retirement savings in a bad investment or if the economy tanks again.
Personally, I am less worried about leaving this world than I am about losing my autonomy and agency.
I don't want to spend the last years of my life being pushed around in a wheelchair and/or an institution. I really don't want other people making decisions for me or choosing what time I go to bed or what meds I take. I don't want to be in constant pain or feeble or lose control of my limbs.
I want to leave this world on my yoga mat, in a sufi meditation or on a surf board.
If you're a short-term person - can you change your lifestyle long enough to make it to your next doctor's appointment and see how your vitals have changed? Can you change it long enough to put your cancer in remission?
This is how I save for retirement. Eating lightly, no sugar and more greens, exercising more, sleeping well, taking supplements that reduce inflammation and strengthen my immune system, meditating - all that is better than health insurance at keeping you from diabetes, heart disease and cancer.
This may sound all superficial when you are in what feels like a life or death situation, but beauty products are actually crucial. We all know that when you are happier, you heal faster. But also, when you look better, people treat you differently. We are only human.
Getting chemotherapy and planning my skincare
I felt hideous when everything started falling apart, not least because people would stare (just for a minute and then look away). I looked like a scrawny, hairless alien. I don't know if they thought I had cancer or something else, but people tended to give me a wide berth, as though my disease just might be catching. My daughters gave me a gift certificate to a place called Spa Castle - a gigantic Korean spa with all kinds of relaxing treatments - and I didn't go because I thought everyone would REALLY stare at me in a bathing suit. It didn't help that most massage therapists, nail salons, aestheticians, even dentists would refuse me treatment because they were scared of what the cancer might do - or my compromised immune system.
Friends would say, "You look great!" in a loudish, fakely cheerful voice. Or they'd tell me about someone else who had chemo and looked much worse. I ran errands, worked and was happy that I could, but I felt embarrassed about my looks. I went to see one of my daughters in her school play and, between scenes, I came out into the lobby and sat on the floor and cried because I felt like a leper.
A few weeks' later, I was in a meeting at an ad agency pitching, of all things, a haircare line, and feeling totally awkward. I mentioned to the table that I didn't need shampoo. My boss laughed, "No, you need Miracle-Gro!" Well, that broke the tension.
So.
How you look matters.
If you are reading this for a friend or family member who is sick, keep that in mind.
To start out, let's forget serious beauty treatments and think about discomfort. Your skin feels rough, hot, dry and itchy - or some combination of the three - during chemo and/or radiation. Unfortunately, almost any commercial product you apply will irritate the skin even further. Your eyes are often red, dry and swollen.
To start with, I didn't use any cleansers at all. My skin was just too dry. I rinsed it with water. If I attempted to use anything even slightly exfoliating, it made my cheeks sting. I only wore natural make-up products so I didn't need to remove them.
Some people suggest you splash water on your face and then apply a thin layer of sweet almond oil. This is the most basic level of care but it is best for babies with eczema because their skin is naturally plump and soft. Since oil just helps seal the moisture into your skin, it doesn't give your skin the cooling, soothing, quenching it craves.
During my 25+ years in the beauty industry, I used to joke that all the expensive skin creams worked about as well as Crisco with fragrance and a nice jar. It's not totally true.
Even post-chemo, you should probably keep this list in mind - what you really need for your skin is a three-part solution - 1. an emollient, 2. a humectant and 3. an occlusive. Many skin products incorporate the three, but if you don't find one that works for you, here's what you need.
The emollient is a moisturizer. It hydrates, softens and plumps up the fine lines. It feels good on the skin. The reason you can't rely on it alone is that it evaporates very quickly. Thus it can leave the skin feeling even dryer than it did to begin with.
Next, you need a humectant. Humectants draw the moisture from the air into your skin. Glycerin, coconut oil and hyaluronic acid (sounds scary but it's actually something your body creates to lubricate itself) are humectants. If you use too much of a humectant, it can make you skin look fresh and dewy, but it can also make it feel sticky to the touch, especially as the product dries - because it does dry but not completely into a thick gel.
So to top it all off, you need an occlusive. An occlusive seals in the moisture and protects and fortifies your skin's moisture barrier. The moisture on your skin not only makes the skin softer and more resilient, it creates a barrier to bacteria, environmental irritants and pollutants. Thus dry skin is actually more prone to infection.
For me, the best moisturizer during chemo was a simple Calendula cream. Look for brands designed for first aid, like Boiron or Thompson's, or for babies. Make sure it is unscented. It cooled the skin and soothed the itchy red rash. I still travel with a tube of this as my face is very sensitive to stress and different kinds of water. (Personally, after cleansing, I start with a Vitamin C product to help re-build the collagen, reduce the dark spots and splotches you get from chemotherapy and brighten the skin. Be careful with this though, as the wrong product can irritate the skin and cause MORE redness (and that's hardly what you need). Liquid Gold is the only brand I recommend for people with cancer, since it's natural and designed for sensitive skin.)
Then I used a humectant. A friend of mine was working for Estee Lauder and she sent me the Creme De La Mer serum, a rich gel - I think it was fortified with seaweed or algae - that, unlike most commercially-prepared products, didn't have a heavy scent or color. You can also use a pure hyaluronic acid or a natural rosewater and glycerin combination mist. I also love a product called Liquid Gold cell quench which is made of hyaluronic acid and plant stem cells. I spray on some rosewater and glycerin and then roll on a little cell quench and spread it around with my finger tips.
My favorite beauty products for people having cancer treatments - and my routine today.
For my occlusive, I then used a heavy moisturizer with a sweet almond oil base called Cleopatra's cream. It's made by a friend of natural, non-GMO ingredients - including antibacterial coconut oil and homeopathic suspensions of minerals and seems to be the ONLY thing that really hydrates my post-chemo dryness. It still smells lovely but not fake in anyway.
Last, I used a balm or oil at night. I've seen herbal shops selling calendula balms made of herbal extracts and essential oils. As long as it is not too scented, you could use that instead. I would test it on your arm and see how it feels. The Liquid Gold brand also makes a balm with vitamin E that is great for sealing in the moisture and healing.
Finally, moisture has to come from the inside, too. While you are having chemo, drink water like crazy and make sure you are getting your good fats - avocados, coconut oil, nuts, rice bran oil. I took 4 capsules a day of rice bran oil, two capsule of rosemary oil and four capsules a day of seabuckthorn oil.
Just remember that everything you apply to your skin gets absorbed into your blood stream, so if you wouldn't eat it, you probably shouldn't rub it into your face, especially when you are weak and your immune system is compromised.
One month after I stopped chemotherapy. My face well moisturized - just eyeliner but nothing else!
When you are all greased-up, let it soak in for a little while so that you don't look too slippery. Then it's time for make-up! There is a little-known brand called Illuminare which was actually designed to be super gentle for a breast cancer patient and is made out of natural minerals. It's a make-up artists secret as it blends really well, a teensy bit goes a long way and it is non-irritating, even if you fall asleep with it on. Since it has a high mineral content, it works as a sunscreen as well - very useful since the skin becomes very photosensitive during chemotherapy and radiation - and it actually helps your skin heal.
Illuminare makes eye products that do not irritate the eyes (but irritatingly, require separate brushes - though that forces you to clean them often which is good) and nontoxic lipcolors that last all day. One finds that one's lips not only get dry and cracked, they become pale.
I still wore my kajal every single day, unless my eyes got too stingy. Kajal is a South Asian eyeliner made of charcoal and healing oils. I use a brand called Hashmi Kajal. It's supposedly made out of Ayurvedic ingredients and protects your eyesight. It didn't bother my eyes, it's cheap and the only bad thing about it is that the plastic cap is really cheap and can break off in your bag and smear the waterproof stuff everywhere so keep it in a ziplock bag. I rinsed it in cold water between uses.
Apart from kajal, I am sucky at applying make-up myself but there are a million great tutorials on youtube. Watch them but, be super careful with the products you choose. It is not worth the discomfort of skin and eyes that are even more irritated than before. I tried my daughters' make-up and came home and cried again because of how much they made my eyes sting and my face hurt.
My friend Mary Schook showed me how to safely apply false lashes if I needed to go out. And these days, there are no shortage of brow products (it's amazing how weird people look with no eyebrows). This was shot by my youngest daughter, Rara, and the voice-over is by Zarina. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LvYyk7FDS8
Brush color on your brows - or where they were - slightly lighter than you think because it can very quickly look mad. When you first start, ask someone else to make sure you haven't turned yourself into Salvador Dali or Lucille Ball in the early 60s.
Most people undergoing cancer treatments become very skinny. Like 14 year-old bones sticking out scrawny. If you were never slim before, this is the silver lining. And here is your chance to try layering! While I'd recommend choosing fabrics that are very smooth and soft so as not to irritate your skin further, I used to start with a very thin, soft cotton t-shirt underneath everything because it gave me more options. I also found that a thin pair of cotton leggings under a loose shirt or dress were useful - because there were so many instances during treatment where one had to undress one part of the body or another. With layers like that, you could reveal an arm, a hand, a foot or a leg without leaving the rest of yourself exposed. That way, you feel like you maintain a level of dignity.
Since I live in New York City AND I didn't want to have to buy an entirely new wardrobe before, during and after treatment, I chose most stuff in neutral colors - black, white and gray - with accents in red or blue. I added a bright pop of color near the face - a scarf or hat - to cheer myself up.
In terms of fragrance, when you really look odd, it's nice to smell sweet. A lot of people find that chemotherapy and/or radiation makes them nauseated and sensitive to smells, especially artificial ones. I found that, at my most nauseated, the scent of natural grapefruit oil was fresh and clean smelling. Lavender and Rosemary - but the natural oils, not the fake stuff - have a green, camphorousness that can cut through the nausea. They are both also calming and antibacterial. Personally, I also found natural rose and jasmine oils very soothing as well as sexy (and not much made me feel sexy at that time).
My suggestion is to go to health food store or natural aromatherapy place and test out some of the oils. Or ask people to bring you a few. Try a tiny bit on your wrist and leave it on for a while. Or put it on a sweater or sweatshirt. See if it smells nice or it makes you feel sick as the day goes on. If you can't handle any scented products at all, don't worry about it. But given the endocrine interruptors and other nasty effects of synthetic fragrance, I'd recommend you avoid them all together.
Also, look at the products in your bathroom. Shampoos, conditioners, bodywash, soaps and lotions can all irritate the skin and eyes - and they also penetrate the skin and enter the bloodstream. I would go as natural as you can manage. I used Dr. Bronner's Lavender soap (I didn't need shampoo), a natural toothpaste with no fluoride (another possible carcinogen) and food grade sweet almond oil or coconut oil on my body after bathing. Then I rubbed on a little natural flower oil. I used a Weleda's natural deodorant made mostly from baking soda and it seemed to work well.
If you are getting radiation, I recommend a 20-30 minute soak in 1 cup of epsom salt, 1/2 cup of baking soda and 1/2 cup of natural sea salt after treatment. Then take a shower afterwards.
I made a big effort to reduce the plastic bottles and artificial cleaning products - all my years of swimming laps made me adore the chlorine smell of Clorox Clean-Up - but you can get much less toxic cleaners made of hydrogen peroxide and they are just as effective at killing germs.
I did not wear a wig because I found them itchy, expensive
and ugly. (Plus, I have fond memories of Sinead O'Connor and the model
Eve as bad ass b@#ches). Since I underwent chemotherapy from October til February, I was partial to some extremely
soft cashmere beanies made by Meg Cohen.
These are the nicest, thickest cashmere I have ever felt and they are
locally-made by the nicest person. It's a tiny business that behaves
with the best ethics.
Think about it this way, if you are going to have something close to your
skin (and your crown chakra), make sure it has good energy!
I am totally indebted to my friend Evangeline Kim for making this recipe. I had only once tasted a teensy bit of Momofuko Milk Bar's famous crack pie but since they used wheat and refined sugar, I didn't really go further. Cut to five or six years' later and she was telling us how delicious it was and offered to make one while staying here. I challenged her to make a version I could eat (without sugar or wheat). So here it is - and if you eat it warm, topped with a dollop of coconut cream - you will literally not be able to stop in until you have to lie down on the floor and unbutton your trousers in total surrender.
Personally, I would not make this myself as it is too labor-intensive and then I would just eat it all up if it was lying around the fridge BUT - it would be the best thing ever to take with you when you get invited somewhere for thanksgiving or a party and there are no desserts that you can eat and everyone is making you feel like a loser as they chow down. When you bring this, they will all be won over to your side. They will all be talking about how ridiculous it is that everyone can't eat healthy and it's so easy and delicious.
Or eat it all yourself.
Organic, Paleo, Gluten-Free, NO REFINED SUGAR - even VEGAN - TOTALLY ADDICTIVE Crackpie
3/4 cup avocado puree (or 4 large organic egg yolks)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preparation (prep: 40 min, total: 15 hrs - It's long. Plan in advance.)
Cookie Crust
Preheat oven to
300°F. Line 13x9x2-inch metal baking pan with parchment paper; coat with coconut oil or butter. Combine 6 tablespoons oil/butter, 6 tablespoons coconut sugar in medium bowl. Beat mixture until light and fluffy, occasionally scraping down sides of
bowl, about 2 minutes. Add ground chia seed mixture or egg; beat until pale and fluffy. Add oats,
almond and coconut flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt and beat until well blended,
about 1 minute. Turn mixture out onto prepared baking pan; press
out evenly to edges of pan. Bake until light golden on top, 17 to 18
minutes. Transfer baking pan to rack and cool cookie completely.
Using hands,
crumble oat cookie into large bowl; add 3 tablespoons coconut oil/butter and 1 1/2
tablespoons coconut sugar. Rub in with fingertips until mixture is moist
enough to stick together. Transfer cookie crust mixture to
9-inch-diameter glass pie dish. Using fingers, press mixture evenly onto
bottom and up sides of coconut oil or butter greased pie dish. Place pie dish with crust on rimmed
baking sheet.
Filling
Position rack in
center of oven and preheat to 325°F. Whisk coconut sugar, coconut milk or colostrum powder,
and salt in medium bowl to blend. Add coconut oil or melted butter and whisk until
blended. Add coconut cream, then pureed avocado/egg yolks and vanilla and whisk until well
blended. Pour filling into crust. Bake pie 30 minutes (filling may begin
to bubble). Reduce oven temperature to 300°F. Continue to bake pie
until filling is brown in spots and set around edges but center still
moves slightly when pie dish is gently shaken, about 20 minutes longer.
Cool pie 2 hours in pie dish on rack (If you can resist it. 30 minutes in is about when I ate the first half of the pie, I globbed the coconut cream on top).
Chill whatever you can save uncovered overnight.
The coconut sugar and coconut cream makes for a darker pie, but since there is slightly less of a sugar rush - and it's balanced with the higher protein and fiber - it doesn't knock you out quite so fast. But it DOES have fructose - so easy on it! Maybe try substituting Monk Fruit in places?
Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover so that no one knows what it is; keep chilled. Lock up your fridge.
I read somewhere that when you crave chocolate, you are actually craving protein and minerals so this is one solution - a snack that has both dark chocolate (magnesium!) and a highly-digestible protein, mineral, fat and fiber combination that helps in balancing hormones. Look up chickpeas to see how much you need them.
Overwhelmed with a sugar jones - usually because I haven't had enough sleep, am feeling anxious about something, my hormones are out of whack or I have a little candida - these blondies help curb them (or maybe surrender to them).
I bake a bunch and freeze some. They have that wickedly satisfying sweet-salty-chewy crumbly feeling which you can suddenly feel desperate for if you don't eat grains, refined sugar or processed foods. So here's my version of the great recipe from ambitious kitchen (I LOVE her). Mine are slightly lighter and cakier, hers are fudgier (they both have their benefits).
gluten-free, paleo, vegan chickpea blondies!
Get out the food processor. Sorry to say that big old food processor is really a necessity here. I've done it in the vitamix and it doesn't come out as well. But you can try it.
Stuff you need:
food processor (or powerful blender)
spatula (to scrape it out of the food processor)
8 x 8 baking pan
oven
Ingredients:
1 can of chickpeas
1 tablespoon of ground chia seeds
4 tablespoons of water or vanilla hemp milk
1/2 cup of vanilla hemp milk
1/2 cup of peanut or almond butter (or sunflower butter if you want it to be nut-free)
1/4 teaspoon of baking soda
1/4 teaspoon of baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of sea salt (at the moment, I am into Hawaiian red salt) plus 1/4 to sprinkle on top
2 tablespoons of vanilla extract
1 bag of dark chocolate chips (get good ones, it will make a difference - this time we used callebaut - which DO have sugar but not a lot)
1 (more or less) tablespoon of coconut (or ghee or butter if you don't mind it not being vegan) to grease the pan.
Turn the oven on to 350 degrees.
In the food processor, just put everything in there, except for the chocolate chips, 1/4 teaspoon of the salt, the grease for the pan, the chia seeds and the hemp milk.
In a teacup, mix the chia seeds with the water or hemp milk to get a gloopy, viscous, eggy mixture. This replaces egg - though you can save time and just drop an egg in there to be more paleo. Add this and the rest of the hemp milk to the food processor.
Pulse, puree, whatever until the entire thing is smooth. Taste for sweetness and saltiness. I don't add sugar, but if you want, you could use whatever sweetener you feel good with - coconut sugar, stevia, lucuma, lankanto - I've heard good things about it, it's made of monk fruit and you can use it for cooking, but I've never done it myself. The chocolate chips are sweet and the nut butters are naturally sweet so just taste what works for you. If you add more flavorings, pulse a little more.
Open the lid of the food processor, dump in half to 3/4 bag of chocolate chips. Stir them around with the spatula - don't turn the machine back on or you will puree them too!
If you want to give them to someone who is not well or needs a little extra love, while you stir them up, think healing and loving thoughts. Imagine that people eating your blondies are immediately healed from whatever is ailing them. Imagine energy coming from your core straight into the batter. You can even say a little prayer and ask your Source to infuse your blondies with healing power. (Note: the person you are sending healing to can be you. We all need it sometimes).
That's how you "reiki" them.
Now grease the pan well with whichever grease you've chosen. I like some raw, sea salty, grassfed butter here but coconut oil tastes buttery too.
Pour the batter into the pan, use the spatula to spread it all out. Sprinkle the rest of the chocolate chips on top, use the spatula to squish them down a little. Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon of large-grained sea salt around.
Put the pan in the oven and bake for 20-30 minutes depending on your oven. I've noticed big variations on baking times depending on the oven and the liquidity of the batter. The way to tell if they are ready is that they are slightly brown on the edges and have pulled away from the sides of the pan and the center is set and not jiggley.
Paleo, gluten-free, nut-free chickpea blondies!
Like that.
If they are undercooked, don't kill yourself. All the ingredients are perfectly safe and good raw and they will simply be more fudgey when they cool. If they are overcooked or slightly burned, they will probably still taste delicious - it's all good.
Even really picky kids and my dad will eat them (don't blow it like me and get all overexcited about the ingredients before they put them in their mouths so that they don't even want to try them).
I have been told I am a food fascist...but go out and make your own!
If you have ANY issues with your teeth, gums or respiratory system, you owe it to yourself to try oil-pulling. Of all the odd health stuff I do - 16 ounces of green juice every morning, body brushing, supplements, quitting sugar and most grains - this is one of the easiest and it's had the most immediate results.
Some say it clears toxins from the respiratory, digestive system and the skin, even reduces TMJ jaw pain and improves sleep. Apparently, it makes perfect sense to car mechanics who often run oil through the works using the phospholipids to liquify and draw out debris, sediment and other junk. If you have cancer, it is worth it to this process add to your healing arsenal.
It's actually an Ayurvedic technique so they've had years (um, centuries) to test it out. But on a purely anecdotal level, when I started doing it, I am embarrassed to say I hadn't had my teeth cleaned in years. I slunk into my favorite dentist's office (Dr. Idelle Brand, if you live in NYC) for a catch-up.
Coconut oil is great for oil-pulling because it has additional antibacterial properties. Use about this much - a heaping teaspoon if it's solid and a tablespoon if it's liquid.
Amazingly, I had very little plaque on my teeth at all. I also noticed that from one appointment to the next (a few months), my periodontal disease seemed to be gone and my gums were fuller. I had no loose or achy teeth and the tea stains were also greatly reduced.
Traditionally, one uses sesame or even sunflower oil, but I found the best results - for me - with coconut. The oil one chooses depends on the health issues one wants to focus on. I've read listservs where people say pulling with olive oil resolves their gout pain. Anecdotally, people have used oil-pulling to resolve halitosis, sinusitis, arthritis pain and even eczema. I just read that oil-pulling with coconut oil can kill the candida (yeast or thrush) and the streptococcus bacteria in the mouth. By the way, the brand doesn't matter as long as it's reputable - and probably anything you have in your mouth that long should be organic.
Basically, I put a heaping teaspoon full of solid oil (a tablepoon of liquid oil) in my mouth, first thing in the morning. I swoosh it around while I make breakfast for Rara and make the tea and the juice. That takes about 15 to 20 minutes and since I am by myself, I don't have to talk to anyone and I am distracted. For more severe conditions, one can do it twice a day - so just before bed - always on an empty stomach.
DO NOT SWALLOW IT! This is important because it is drawing out toxins and you don't want to put them back into your system.
When I finish, I spit the oil directly into the garbage bag and run and brush my teeth.
DO NOT SPIT IT INTO SINK! Crucial because 1. it's full of toxins and 2. you will clog up the drain (and hate me forever)!!!
It's incredible - my teeth feel supersmooth and clean - polished and slippery as a marble tabletop. It's a great thing for cancer chemotherapy patients because it's a gentle way to reduce bacteria in your mouth without irritating your sensitive tissues.
I just came back from a hideous Airbnb experience in Los Angeles. The apartment was beautifully-located and the host was lovely and responsive - but the space was dusty, musty and crammed so full of vintage finds that within an hour, my throat closed and I could barely breathe. I tried to soldier on but gave up the next day. It was more like a thrift-store storage space than a living space. What I'd forgotten is that post-chemo one is often extremely sensitive to dust and mold and as an intuitive, I am extremely sensitive to energy - and the energy and histories of all those cast-offs was suffocating me.
Last month (behind the curve, I know), I pondered Marie Kondo's The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up. The idea is that tidying is easy if you reduce your possessions to only those you use often and only those which "spark joy." You hold each of your objects and try and tap into your intuition as to whether you need them or not. If they've already completed their purpose in your life, you let them go. In our moving process this fall, we reduced our possessions to a minimum and moved into an apartment with no broken pieces - and the lifestyle change has been liberating.
This is the opposite of the anti-housework ethos when I was coming into womanhood.
actually, clean house can make you happier, more fascinating and healthier!
Marie Kondo's theory is that if your home is tidy and in order, it makes it easier to focus on what you want in life. The exercise of figuring out which possessions truly spark joy in you also helps awaken your sense of what sparks joy in the rest of your life. Gretchen Rubin, the author of the Happiness Project, discovered that the one thing that makes people happier - day to day - was making their beds. Even in hotel rooms! It gives one a sense of order and control in one's life and starts the day with a degree of discipline.
When I was 16, my mother gave me a book called "Judy's Book of Housework." This was a book that was given to her when she was about the same age. Of course, I was horrified. I had no interest in housework and no reason to believe it was useful to know about it. We feminists wanted to liberate ourselves from such petty concerns.
Judy's Book of Housework is just one in a series. While it feels old-fashioned, its advice is practical and sensible even now.
After laughing at my mother (as teenagers are apt to do) and the description of how to prepare for the chimney sweep, I re-read the chapter on making beds.
Best advice ever on making beds! Cleaning might cure cancer!
The most crucial piece of advice was this - when you get out of bed, open the windows, pull open your bed and let it cool down and release any moisture and heat that has built up in it during the night. If you have to dash off to work, let making your bed be the last thing you do before you leave. In the Judy book, she suggests making the bed after breakfast.
I was struck by the idea of opening up the windows and releasing all the tension and unfinished business of the day before and starting fresh. I still make beds like that today.
But here's the real point - a clean, tidy home will not just make you happier and more successful as Marie Kondo suggests - it will make you healthier. Older synthetics - plastics, polyesters, etc - break down and release toxins into the air. Furniture that is held together using glues or made of pressed board also begins to disintegrate. Cracks or holes in the walls hold dust and release miniscule amounts of paint and plaster into the air. Books and book bindings disintegrate. All of these affect your air quality and your health.
Whether it's Feng Shui or Vashtu, the Konmari method or simply interior design, the first rule is to reduce your possessions. The reason is this: the more stuff you have, the more surfaces and crevices to hold dust, animal and human hair, soot and fumes from car exhaust and factory smog. If you've had cancer, chemotherapy, another systemic or chronic illness, all of that junk in the air can make you sicker.
The fewer possessions filling your space makes cleaning easier. Thus you can stay away from toxic cleaning supplies - less Febreeze and air fresheners - more vinegar, soap, water and a good dust cloth.
I was always irritated that every time a Feng Shui practitioner came to my space because they told me to get rid of my books. Now that most of the books are in storage, I understand why. Unless you have a large enough space where clean, cool air can circulate freely around your possessions, you need to scale them back. Also, too many things block your physical movement around a space as well as limiting your mind's ability to wander and be creative. Many writers and artists prefer to face a blank wall rather than a window, as it allows their minds fill the space rather than distracting them.
If your things are disorganized, it's hard to find what you need, when you need it. Stuff gets lost. Things get broken or spoiled or stained or unusable and no one notices. If you've had chemo or chronic illness, you know how much your brain is taxed already. Reduced possessions, a well-organized space with no broken objects make the process of keeping track of stuff easier.
Last of all, if you believe in or are sensitive to energy, every object contains some energy of its previous owners - on a scientific level, it physically holds molecules of everyone who has ever touched it and it can affect your force field, too. (Sometimes, scrubbing it down with soap and water, scraping off any residue from its previous use and leaving it out in the sun to dry can change things - but this isn't always possible in cities).
My daughter always teased me that every time one visited the house of a healer or psychic, they were filled with little things - feathers, dream catchers, crystals, stones, souvenirs and talismans - and they were always dark and dusty. What I have noticed is that the most professional healers and intuitives I've worked with keep their "charms" to a minimum. They give things away quickly. This way, the energy keeps flowing and moving.
Here are my obstacles to the clean and de-clutter theory - if, for instance, you need a massive library of art and photobooks (like me) or vintage clothing (like the young stylist whose home we borrowed), you can't just get rid of it. Financial concerns make it hard to have a separate storage space. If you can't afford to fix the cracks in your walls or the peeling paint or leaking pipes, you're stuck.
And then, if like me, you had moments when you were broke, you might buy things in bulk - massive packages of paper towels or diapers or breakfast cereals. When I was a single mother of young kids with an unstable income and lunch boxes to fill every day, I was very nervous to buy small sizes of juice boxes or napkins, knowing that the day would come when everyone was late to school and we had run out of chips. I hesitated to give away clothes that one child had outgrown, thinking that it might fit the younger one in a year or so. I kept ski jackets in a variety of sizes and colors, snow boots, toys, shoes and sandals, old textbooks and backpacks, school supplies from the previous year. For any parent who's been short of money, you know the story. The zipper on the coat rips on the coldest day of the year. If there's not an extra in the back of the closet, how do you send your kid to school? It's hard to get rid of stuff because who knows if you will be able to afford a replacement.
That said, if you have any illness or live in a small space, I believe now that de-cluttering is worth the emotional struggle.
First, the kind of food one buys in bulk is not the kind of food one should feed one's family. In fact, for your health, you are better off buying fresh fruits and vegetables in small quantities and using them immediately rather buying than massive boxes of chips and cookies that keep for a month.
Stuff that sits in the fridge or on your shelves loses nutritional value fast. Something as simple as a carton of orange juice loses all its vitamin C in a week! If it sits for long, even coffee, tea, spices and condiments get moldy - often before the mold is even visible. Consuming even miniscule amounts of mold can exacerbate illness and affect one's memory and immune system. Fungi can produce xenoestrogens and other hormones that affect weight gain and adrenal function. Even powerfully healing spices like turmeric, which don't get moldy, can emulsify the oils in their plastic bottles and bags while losing their potency and taste over time.
Personally, I found getting rid of stuff frightening. I was convinced that I needed exactly the thing I'd given away. I felt so weightless that I might lose my balance. Now that I am used to it, I feel so clear I don't know what I will do when all the stuff from storage comes back.
When my kid suddenly had a ski trip this winter, all the old ski clothes were gone! Having reduced my possessions, I insisted we not purchase new clothes. Instead, she found she could borrow most of what she needed. She returned it afterwards so it's not filling up our closets. (It does help that we live in a well-off community with plenty available).
Back to Gretchen Rubin - "Outer order leads to inner calm." In the end, nothing will cure illness better than a calm, happy state of mind. Keep a few of the things you love. Give the rest away to someone who really needs them.
Cleaning is not just a chore, it is an act of self-love. As any Buddhist or Sufi will tell you, it is act of meditation. An opportunity to be mindful and conscious of your surroundings. It is a gift to yourself and your family. It's simple. You don't have to go all Martha Stewart on it.
Last of all - open the windows and throw open your bed clothes for at least an hour before you make your bed - make sure you have clean and new sheets and bedding (throw away stuff with holes and leaking duvets or give them to someone who wants to cut them up and paint on them or something).
And MAKE YOUR BED! Every day. Even if you have a housekeeper, do it yourself. It will change your life.
Thanks, Mum (and Muriel Goaman, wherever you are).
By the way, if this is useful advice - or you'd like to add something, disagree, or read about something totally different - consider posting your thoughts below.
Ramadan 2015. 30 long, hot summer days - each one where one can only eat and drink before sunrise and after sunset - are a 16-hour marathon in NYC and even longer in other parts of the world.
Lots of people find it alarming and are even more shocked that I can't drink water. "That must be dangerous!" First, I am lucky that I work inside. My work doesn't require extreme physical exertion and I can take a rest if I need one. But second, I do keep working and swimming and, when I do energy work, I find I can channel Source much more powerfully. And last, people all over the world and of many different faiths have been fasting this way for at least a century or so.
As an experiment, I tried one fast day drinking water. After the 2nd or 3rd day of Ramadan, I am not hungry. It's as if my entire system is in sleep mode. But the moment I drank water, all the hunger and thirst came rushing back. It was as if I had flipped the switch on the boiler. I could feel my organs all humming back into operation.
My experience has been that if, during the evenings, I hydrate well but eat lightly, the fast wears more lightly on me.
Thus I started my raw Ramadans. Since it's summer, it's easier to eat raw meals or almost entirely raw meals during the month. I find my body is energized and cool, no matter the temperature outside. The raw food gives me the enzymes to digest easily despite the rest time and is also filling and means one is not in a hot, sweaty kitchen. I choose foods that are hydrating and energizing as well as immune-supportive so that you don't feel weak the next day (or during late-night tarawih).
Also, since you are fasting, make sure that everything you use is organic and has no preservatives. Your body has been resting so you don't want to throw off the balance.
So here is my favorite iftar menu - variations on which I like to make for iftar at my Sufi mosque in Tribeca.
Raw Ramadan: Avocado Gazpacho Photo Cred: Sasha Douglas-Nares
Avocado
Gazpacho
(serves 6)
3 large avocados chopped
2 cups cubed cucumber (1 hothouse cucumber)
1 cup of fresh cilantro/coriander or cilantro sprouts
½ cup chopped onion
2 cloves of fresh garlic
½ green chili (jalapeno or Serrano, depends on your sensitivity)
juice of 2 limes (1/4 cup)
1-2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon of sea salt
1-2 large beefsteak tomatoes
¾ cup of filtered water to thin out
Garnish:
1 bell pepper diced
1 jalapeno diced
Place all ingredients except garnish
into your blender and puree until smooth. Add salt, chilies and/or more lime to
taste. Chill for at least an hour before serving so the flavors become more
complicated than guacamole.
To serve, pour into small bowls or shot
glasses and add the garnish. You can even garnish with tortilla chips (ideally
organic and homemade). Yum!
My professional chef friend, James Akins, mastering the tabbouleh
Fearless Food Class with Ameena Meer and James Akins
Quinoa Tabbouleh
(Serves 6)
Salad
1 cup uncooked, sprouted quinoa
4-5 green onions, chopped (3/4 cup)
2 medium tomatoes, chopped (2 cups)
1 1/2 to 2 cups minced parsley (1 large bunch)
1/2 cup minced mint (1 small bunch)
Dressing
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice, plus extra to taste
salt and pepper
8 ounces feta or avocado
Rinse the
quinoa under cool water, then combine with 2 cups of water and 1/2 teaspoon
salt in a medium saucepan. If you are committed to staying raw, rinse, salt and then
soak the quinoa overnight in a large bowl. When you are ready to use, drain the quinoa and toss the water. (There may be some use for it, but I just don't know about it yet!)
If you are cooking, bring to a rapid simmer, then turn down the heat to
medium-low, cover, and cook until the quinoa is fluffy and chewy, about 20
minutes. Then empty it into a large bowl and allow it to cool almost to room
temperature. The quinoa should feel just barely warm to the touch.
Stir the onions, tomatoes, parsley, mint, and garlic into the warm
quinoa. Whisk together the olive oil and lemon juice with 1/2 teaspoon of salt.
Pour this over the salad and stir to combine. If using, crumble the feta or
chopped avocado over the salad and stir it in. Taste a spoonful of the salad
and add more salt or pepper to taste. Serve room
temperature or cold. This salad is even better the next day, once the flavors
have had a chance to mingle.
Raw Ramadan - Polarity Salad Re-Mixed Photo Cred: Sasha Douglas-Nares
Polarity Salad (Asian-Inspired
Slaw)
(Serves 10)
Salad
½ head of cabbage
4-6 carrots, grated (I like multicolored ones)
1 beet, grated
3-4 scallions, chopped
2 cups of mung bean, adzuki bean or other sprouts
1 cup cilantro/coriander sprouts 1 cup basil sprouts
Dressing
½ cup chopped basil
½ cup chopped mint
4 cloves of garlic
1 cup of olive oil
½ cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
Fish sauce and/or coconut aminos (to taste)
1 chopped Serrano or jalapeno pepper (to taste)
Combine all dressing ingredients in a
small bowl and all salad ingredients in a bowl big enough to toss them around.
Once the dressing is combined into a tangy, complex mixture, pour it over the
salad. Wash your hands well with soap and water and then toss the entire salad
mixture.
As cabbage is quite a hardy leaf, it
will hold up to the dressing so you can put the salad in the fridge and eat it
for a couple of days. It's useful to have in there when you are too tired to prepare anything early in the morning. It is increasingly delicious as the flavors of the herbs
and the garlic mix and deepen.
Zucchini “Pasta” with Pesto
(Serves 6)
Pasta:
6 zucchini, ends trimmed
Pesto:
3 cups packed fresh basil leaves
3 cloves garlic
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, optional
½ cup pine nuts
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Garnish:
1 package of cherry or grape tomatoes
1.
Use a spiralizer to slice the zucchini into noodles. Set aside.
2. Combine the basil and garlic in a food
processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Slowly add the olive oil in a
constant stream while the food processor is on. Stop the machine and scrape
down the sides of the food processor with a rubber spatula. Add the lemon juice
and Parmesan cheese. Pulse until blended. Season with salt and pepper. If you are pressed for time, buy some
freshly-made pesto from the store! Just make sure the ingredients are organic
and there are no preservatives – your body doesn’t need them when you are
fasting. 3. Toss until zucchini noodles with the pesto
until they are well coated. Top with tomatoes, if using. Serve at room
temperature or chilled. Note-if you want to cook the zucchini
noodles, you can. Just add the zucchini pesto noodles to a skillet and sauté
them up over medium heat. It only takes a few minutes.
Happy Birthday! Raw Lemon Cheesecake! Photo Cred: Sasha Douglas-Nares
Raw Lemon Cheesecake
(Serves
6)
Crust:
1/2 cup
dates
1 1/2
cups nuts (I used pecans, you can use almost any kind, even better if you soak
them first, overnight)
2
teaspoons of sea salt
In the food processor,
pulse the dates and nuts together until you get a rough, sticky mixture that
you can pat down with your hands into the bottom of a glass pie or baking pan (only because it looks prettier in glass, otherwise any pan will do). For this cooking class, we doubled the recipe and used a glass 11 x 9 baking pan. If it’s not
sticking well, add a little coconut oil, that will make it taste a little more
buttery anyway. Put in fridge.
Cheesecake:
3 cups
cashews (preferably soaked for 3-4 hours)
3/4 cup
lemon juice
2/3 cup
honey/agave/maple syrup/coconut sugar
3/4 cup
melted coconut oil
1
teaspoon sea salt
3
teaspoons dried lavender (if you want, I found I couldn't taste it when it was cold and set)
1
teaspoon vanilla extract/seeds from 1/2 vanilla pod
Put all the ingredients in
the blender and blend until smooth and creamy.Taste the mixture. If you've never had raw food, you will be overcome with pleasure. Pour onto crust in cake pan and set in the freezer or fridge until it
has the hardness you want (probably 3-5 hours or overnight). I decorated it with some organic, local blueberries I bought upstate so it still tasted of the country.
Slice and enjoy!
Even if it’s not hard enough, it will taste delicious!
For Suhoor (the before sunrise meal to prepare for your fast):
Hydrating
Drink
(Serves 2)
1 liter of coconut water
4 tablespoons of chia seeds
Pour the coconut water into
any sort of jug. Add 4 to 6 tablespoons of chia seeds (black or white).Let sit for several hours until the chia
seeds are saturated and have sunk to the bottom of the jug. Stir and drink as
your last meal before starting your fast or any time you need to be
hydrated for long periods of time.
