The C-Word: Energy, Acupuncture & Mona Chopra

here's the point: acupuncture works.

even the national institutes of health, memorial sloan kettering and the american cancer society recognize it in the fight against cancer.

people are always asking me about combining alternative and natural healing with chemotherapy, surgery, radiation and other allopathic (or western) healing methods.

i believe it can - and should be done - but with this caveat:

most other modalities - i.e., more natural healing methods - are about dealing with the bigger picture. they are about looking at each person's personality, habits, character traits, life choices. so when they help you heal, they are less focused on the symptoms of your body's imbalance - it's often called "dis-ease" - and more on helping you return to a state of balance.

i apologize for being simplistic here. please skip over all these explanations if you've read them a thousand times.

in western medicine, one takes a pill or has a treatment, and one sees immediate results. a simple example - you take an advil and within an hour or so, your headache is gone. it is symptomatic problem-solving. the symptom is gone, but often we don't address what the underlying issue, i.e., the stress, lack of sleep, allergies or whatever, that caused the headache in the first place. however, even mainstream (western, allopathic) medicine has begun to realize that with more serious symptoms, one needs to make a commitment to healing them.

this means a lifestyle change - managing your tension or anxiety, changing your diet, re-thinking the way you exercise, taking supplements and making sure you get sufficient sleep and rest to recharge the system.*

alternative healing works by activating your body's own immune system. the goal is to stimulate all your organs and defenses to get your body back to normal. it's based on the idea that your body is designed to heal and regenerate itself.

the self-restoring ability is obvious for minor things - you cut your nails or hair and they grow back, you cut your skin and it forms a scab and then heals itself. you get the flu or a cold or pimples or an upset stomach. more often then not - you rest, wash, hydrate, eat well and give your body the tools it needs to resolve the issues on its own - and you restore yourself.

the reason many alternative healers struggle with traditional chemotherapy and/or radiation is that they work on the opposite principle. they rush in and kill the cancer cells, but they also weaken or suppress your body's innate healing systems. with too much outside force, your body gives up the effort.

the processes in your body that are designed to fight become too weak to do anything. it's sort of like wearing spanx instead of strengthening your core muscles. it's an instant fix, but as soon as you pop yourself out of it, you're even more lumpy than before. if you wear it everyday, your stomach muscles just give up the ghost and flab all over the place. (this is why i do pilates).

there is also some concern that while chemotherapy and radiation may stop the cancer outbreak, it leaves the cancer stem cells which may regenerate and cause a proliferation of new tumors. (they are supposedly working on a vaccine for this, but in the meantime, women need to think of alternatives).

i see this often in people who had chemotherapy and/or radiation for breast cancer. within a few years develop, my friends have developed metastasis in their bones or more virulent cancers in their lymph nodes.

mona chopra is an amazing acupuncturist and intuitive healer. she was one of the first people who thought i might have something more serious than early menopause (which was what my tribeca ob-gyn, austin chen, insisted) and also helped me through meningitis, stress and a rare liver virus. in every case, i recovered almost "miraculously" - fast and completely.

if i had anything at all wrong with me, mona chopra would be one of the first people i would call, not least because she appears to be the calmest person i know. just being around her calm aura has a soothing effect.

mona explains what happens in an acupuncture treatment.

ideally, you come into the acupuncturist's office, after you've had something to eat or drink because it is key that you are hydrated. mona looks at your tongue. she writes down what she notices about the surface of your tongue. apparently, your tongue has a lot of information about the way your body is processing things.

next, she takes your pulse. in chinese medicine, they take one's pulse from several different places. again, these pulse rates give her information on the strength of the energy meridiens.

as in the intake process of many natural health practitioners, while you wait, you fill out a long, detailed questionnaire.  the answers show, amongst other things, how you deal with stress. not surprisingly, stress and tension cause a lot of imbalance. you are also asked about your diet, your exercise routine, your sleep patterns, allergies, your temper and a lot of other things that could affect your health.

then you lie down on a massage table-type of thing. if the energy points to be stimulated are on your torso or higher up your arms and legs, you might undress - the same way you would for a massage.

if your points are only on your hands and feet, you might just roll up your cuffs and sleeves. personally, since one lies on the table for 40 minutes, i find it is more comfortable to undress and lie under a blanket. i always get so relaxed i fall asleep during acupuncture.

next, come the much-dreaded needles. as gigantic and scary as the acupuncture needles appear on the tray, they are so incredibly thin that most people can't even feel them as they are inserted.

my own experience has been one of a minute electrical shock as my nerves register the needle. then i feel sensation of tingling warmth as the needle stimulates my energy and circulation. in my case, i have never felt any pain from an acupuncture needle.

once the needles are in place, mona covers the patient with a weightless space blanket or a sheet. then the patient lies quietly on the table for 30 to 40 minutes while the needles do their work.

another acupuncturist i went to see, ming jin, is also extremely talented and subtle and has helped a number of my friends successfully. she has her patients given a 30-minute massage before the acupuncture. in that way, one is melted into pliable bliss even before the treatment.

gynecological cancers, especially in their early stages, seem to be effectively helped by acupuncture and chinese medicine. even if you have not been diagnosed with cancer, acupuncture - along with lifestyle and diet changes - can prevent the energy blocks that lower your resistence. releasing these blocks can help your body stay balanced even in times of crisis or stress.

the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation, including nausea, fatigue and neuropathy can often be alleviated with regular acupuncture. an acupuncturist might also prescribe chinese herbs or supplements to energize and protect the immune system or "good" cells. the acupuncture can also help strengthen the immune system so that it is not as depleted by the chemotherapy or radiation. in my case, regular acupuncture post-chemotherapy was extremely effective in ending the chemo hot flashes, as well as returning sensation to my hands and feet.

if you can find the funds, and a good referral, acupuncture is a solid investment in your ongoing health and recovery. many acupuncture schools offer low-cost treatment options. if you and your acupuncturist decide you should see each once a week or more, quite often he or she may help you come to a more affordable rate.

as you put together your team of healers, an acupuncturist is powerful presence.



*my mother is always arguing that we have been eating and living the same way for centuries and that's what her mother did so why flit around with every new trend?

my answer is multifold. one, our lives are so more stressful and we all know what stress does to one's body so we need to be gentler.

two, the world has changed. we grow and process food differently and that has affected the chemicals in the food which affects our bodies differently. (we've all seen what happened to the rats fed GMO corn for two years).

three, we are now subjected to magnetic fields as never before: cell phones, wireless devices, computer screens all give off rays that we have yet to understand, but we do know they are speeding up the ageing process.

and four, as we get older, our machinery becomes less efficient. what we could process easily at the age of 8, we can't always at 16 and by the time we get to be 35 or 45, we need to work harder to operate at optimum levels. it's like a great vintage car. it might look and run like new, but we need to put the work in to keep it like that.

The C-Word: How to Say No

I am always asked this question.

When faced with the enormous weight of the medical establishment and the cancer industry, along with the battalions of family members and friends who told me I was a selfish, unrealistic, irresponsible mother with a death wish, how did I say no?

How do you make a decision based on the quiet voice of your intuition when you're scared out of your skin? And when almost every person of repute is telling you that your intuition might be deadly wrong.

How do you do what you feel in your gut is right for you and your body?

This is critical.

Toddlers say, "No" often and with conviction. "No green beans!" "No shoes!" It's simple.

Teenagers do it by rolling over and going back to sleep. Or ignoring their parents' text messages. It's all about creating a separate identity and learning to make your own boundaries. It's a crucial developmental step.

Eventually, though, as we grow up, we all learn the value of saying, "Yes." Or at least, "Oh, all right," most of the time. It's a necessary part of living in society. We get to work when we are told to be there, we do the laundry for the whole family, make dinner when we're exhausted.

The problem is that we - especially women - often forget that we need to assert our independence sometimes. Not just for the brief rush of power (and ensuing guilt) of doing what we want, but as a sort of self-protection. There is only so much you can do and if you don't learn to protect yourself, the world will eat you up.

I am not suggesting that the world is malicious, just that the people who love you most, who care most about you, sometimes don't realize that you are a human yourself who also has a responsibility to herself. That sometimes you need to tell them, "No."

When you are sick, this can get even harder.

If you feel like your illness might respond better to a certain diet, let's say your own version of Unger's Clean or Gerson therapy or any of the variations and options out there, you need to protect yourself from the people who love you and may have stayed up all night baking your favorite brownies or frying samosas. If you are weak and tired and you don't even really like brussel sprouts, but you somehow know that's what you need, you need to say, "No, thank you," to the person who brought cupcakes and the doctor who says, "What you eat doesn't really matter anyway."

For the hospital, here is your first bit of ammunition. In the land of the invalids, the squeaky wheel gets gets the oil. Statistically, patients who complain and demand attention get better care - and recover faster. The more active you are in the process, the better your care will be - mainly because you've lived in your body and you know it better than any doctor ever could. I'm not suggesting you be nasty and mean to anyone - and especially not the nurses because they really work hard - but that you stick to what you believe.  Even doctors and nurses, when they stop to think, believe this.

The uncomplaining patient who quietly does what she's told tends to be forgotten in the rush. If you have unpleasant symptoms or side-effects and you don't demand that your doctor address them in some way, you run the risk of hurting yourself in the long run. The human body reacts differently to different drugs as well as different illnesses. It's possible that something that seems unimportant may turn out to be something serious.

That's why I suggest you listen to yourself and your body. Trust your intuition.

When you are sick, vulnerable, frightened or even just intimidated, that is the time to say, "No," and take your power back. No, I don't want cortisteroids. No, I don't want a medical student to give me spinal tap, I'd rather have someone with years of experience. No, I can't walk there, I want a wheelchair. No, I don't want a wheelchair, I'd rather walk myself.

Even if every single person tells you that acupuncture or prayer or avoiding surgery or chemotherapy or radiation is a stupid thing to do, if you feel like something is not working for you, if you get a sinking feeling as you start do it, say, "No." (Interestingly, my daughters never question my convictions).

Remember that you can. There is a patient's bill of rights that allows you to refuse any treatment that you don't feel is benefitting you. It means that your doctors need to explain what they are doing and why. Just because something has "always been done that way" or because something is the "standard protocol" doesn't mean it always works or it can't be improved upon.

In my case, I knew too many people who had suffered from the side-effects of chemotherapy and radiation. The cancer was defeated, but with many of my friends, it came roaring back in four or five years because the person's natural immune system was so decimated by the chemo. I've known people who were killed by the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation but I never met anyone who was killed by natural medicine.

While I am a big proponent of natural healing methods, there is a lot to be said for your own state of mind. If you really have faith in whatever method you are using to get well, it is likely to work. If you have your doubts, don't do it.

For me, I tried psychic healers, massage and cranial-sacro therapists, acupuncturists, integrative oncologists, reiki healers, brennan method healers, nutritionists, and hypnotists. I chose them based on positive recommendations from others. If something felt good - and I found research supporting it - I kept doing it. If it didn't feel like it was doing me good or I didn't respond to the energy of the person, I stopped. I really worked on not being intimidated by either the New Age machinery or the medical industry.

Cancer and other life-threatening ailments are big business and too many people are scared or intimidated into spending a lot of money on treatments that don't work for them. Say, "No."

Not to be too trite but in Legally Blonde Two, Elle Woods uses a disappointing haircolor as a metaphor:

Sometimes you realize that part of the reason you got sick was that you didn't learn how to say, "No" enough. No, I can't drive you there. No, I can't keep the kids this weekend so you and your girlfriend can go to a bed and breakfast. No, I can't cover that bill. No, you can't come have your lunch at my house just because you're in the neighborhood. 

Years ago, my mother taught me the beginnings of saying no to authorities. "Well, the recipe calls for three cans of chicken broth, but I made some chicken stock myself so I will use that." Or "The doctor told me to take this, but it's making me feel sick, so I'm going to throw them away and call him."

Start small. But work on it. 

It's not always nice to say no to the people who care about you. But it's better to be nice to yourself some time.

When I finally told my oncologist I would not do any more chemotherapy despite her recommendations, she said, "You'll be dead in 12 weeks."

When I told the psychiatrists who were sent to counsel me that there were other ways to cure cancer, they laughed and said, "Those are fairy stories."

That was two years' ago. (That doesn't mean I might not have a relapse anyway because five years is the mark, but I've enjoyed the last two years at full steam).

Be brave.

Say No.

It could save your life.

cancer phase two

went to see my very calm and metaphysical oncologist. as is his style, he had me listen to a very soothing chant, "om nama narayani..." and he asked me when i was going to write about my cancer treatments. i talked about my frustration with my doctor at memorial sloan kettering, i told him about re-thinking chemotherapy. he prescribed MORE supplements ($185.00) to help with the nerve damage and suggested twice-weekly intravenous glutathione (about $500 per dose) to get my immune system back to normal.

it seems that my immune system is so damaged by the chemotherapy that my current condition would be analogous to someone who is HIV+ which he asked me if i was. fortunately, unless i got it from the blood transfusions, i'm not.

i told him my theory (and practice), "if i believe i am well, i will be."

he answered: "most spiritual teachers as well as psychologists would agree with you. your mind can change your body."

so i left, scheduled one appointment for glutathione (all i could dream of affording), bought more supplements - i am now gulping down multi-colored capsules like jellybeans - and went to meet a friend (who is surfing in costa rica, skiing in argentina and on her way to australia next) to absorb some of her radiating positivity.

when i walked back in the door of my apartment, my phone rang. it was the metaphysical oncologist's secretary. she said that my memorial sloan kettering oncologist called him. he can no longer treat me. he told his secretary to tell me that he misunderstood about the chemotherapy. he can't endorse something that deviates from the standard procedure. however, he recommends i see yet another oncologist, this one at columbia presbyterian up at 165th st.

i am totally confused. the metaphysical oncologist has just sold me upstream. i ask the secretary again, "are you sure? we had a very long conversation about it. how can there be a 'misunderstanding'?" is he just scared about malpractice suits? is it insurance?

phase two in cancer treatments is discovering that the doctors are more scared than you are. scared of getting blamed. scared of insurance companies. scared of malpractice or the embarassment of a patient dying unexpectedly. scared of losing stature or patients if the word gets out.

i pointed out to the chemo doctors that my cancer has a 95% cure rate but only 70% of people survive chemotherapy. they say, "I know, we've made such strides!"

70%

that is a C, as one of my friends pointed out.

at the moment, the things that seem to make me feel best are acupuncture, penney leyshon, pilates and cutting sugar and animal products out of my diet.

though i fell off the wagon today with a decaf cappuccino (2 sugars) basking in the spring sunlight with my neighbor purvi and KNOWING that i am well.

(it's possible the vitamins work, too, but i am taking so many i can't tell which is doing what. as the chemo leaves my body, i will let you know more.)

ultrasound & blood tests

trudged up to memorial sloan kettering for an ultrasound at 9am today to confirm that my body is clear of cancer.

despite the blizzard, there were a fair number of people on the street and even on the subway.

the outpatient part of the hospital on 53rd and lexington didn't seem to be affected at all. there were tons of patients milling about and cars dropping people off and picking them up outside.

i have to say, just the slightest whiff of disinfectant, rubbing alcohol, latex gloves - and i instantly feel sick to my stomach - i feel like sneaking out the door quickly before anyone notices.

then, of course, like all those stupid medical procedures, the ultrasound technician, clicks and sighs and hums, but never tells you anything about what she sees or what she's looking at. when i ask her, she says, "i can't tell you anything, you'll have to wait til the doctor interprets your images."

i was briefly panicked. i don't have a follow-up appointment with my doctor til april. did that mean i wouldn't know til then? it took me three days just to get the results of my blood marker test because the doctor didn't call me back.

it turns out it's just the radiologist who interprets everything twenty minutes later (while you are lying there in agony wondering what it all really means).

YES! all clear. my body is a bit beat-up and raw from the tumor and the chemo but apart from that, everything is good! my blood marker (hcg) is 2.7 - normal!

off to drag the amazons to jumma to say, thank you.

nausea

it's overwhelming. i look at my sweatshirt that i wear in hospital and i feel sick. i smell vegetables and my stomach turns over. i talk about my next doctor's appointment and i can barely speak.

after changing my diet and eating all organic, tons of fresh vegetables, no sugar, no caffeine, no dairy, no animal products, no wheat - i now eat anything that doesn't make me gag. sometimes that includes sugar. generally, it's toast.

it's funny because upset stomach was never an issue for me. a bit in early pregnancy but i was never a throwing-up person. i rarely get food poisoning or stomach flu. i used to joke that i could eat stones with lemon and chilies on them in the nightmarket in bangkok and feel perfectly fine.

now nausea is my constant companion.

it fogs my vision, muffles my hearing. makes my neck and shoulders ache from the tension of trying to hold it together.

i can't even watch that video of my last trip to hospital. as i was downloading it, i noticed that my eyes are swollen to two different sizes, my skin is dry and cracking on my body and i have a rash on my cheeks.

last week, i had shooting pains in my feet and fingers. it's changed to lack of sensation in my fingertips and toes. it's a drag because i drop things and burn my fingers when i am cooking dinner.

illness is a funny thing. you know how old people can be so grouchy? i am now one of those bad-tempered, excessively sensitive (to noise and movement) and hypercautious sick people. i panic when rara leaves the house without a hat on a cold day. i hyperventilate if sasha or zarina are out and they don't text me back within a few minutes. if someone puts glass too near the edge of the table, i have to grab it.

i imagine the worst in every situation.

along with the nausea, it feels like everything is on a downhill rollercoaster going way too fast.

yesterday, i went to watch rara in her school play. sixty kids singing onstage and i could barely hear it, i couldn't see properly and my mouth tasted like sour metal.

i ended up sitting in the hallway sobbing my head off and freaking out kids who were hurrying out for costume changes.

last week, my doctor said, "you're cured! the cancer's gone! now it's just four more weeks of this..."

i thought, "if it's even ONE more night like last night, i'd rather just risk the cancer."

better stop thinking about it. it's making me sick.

home from chemo

my doctor as usual was being all cagey about the chemo, the disease and the treatment plan.

it's frustrating because she is constantly changing the information she gives me.

i showed her the book i had on my cancer, trophoblastic disease, and she was dismissive. i asked her why my hands were turning black and she said, "oh, this kind of chemo could also make your tongue black."

i told her that i noticed that this part of my chemo - the outpatient session - was physically much harder than the in-hospital one. the nausea and the exhaustion was much worse, especially two days afterwards.

and she said, "oh yes, it would be. this is much harder. and the reason you feel so much worse two days later is because all the pre-meds we give you wear off in 72 hours."

i am wondering why my treatment is never explained to me unless i ask. no details. no advance warnings. it's a sort of shut-up-and-do-what-you're-told approach.

so then i told her about a few other oncologists i had spoken to, especially one i'd like to see who practices integrative oncology, working with vitamins, supplements and music therapy. i asked what she thought. she said, "oh, some people like him. some people don't."

anyway, soraya came with me and helped me drag myself home in a fog of nausea and spacey-ness from all the pre-meds.

lying like a zombie on the mat until zarina stamped in the front door in a temper and threw a tantrum that she was being grounded (on a school night?)and it was so unfair.

this eventually disintegrated into her telling me she hated me and wanted me out of her life and then walking out the door.

fortunately, she went to her safe haven, her dad's house. where he will tell me not to be so hard on her.

sasha and jahanara are still here calmly doing homework.

some more ginger, arnica on my bones - my white blood cell count is dangerously off, which accounts for the cold, i guess - and off to bed.

thanks for listening.

enormous changes at the last minute

thanks to mary schook's previous work and ruba abu-nimah giving me a load of creme de la mer, the texture of skin doesn't look nearly that bad.

on the other hand, my skin has taken a sort of orangey-yellow cast and my eyes are totally sunken in and tired-looking almost all the time.

my eyelashes and most of my left eyebrow have fallen out or are falling out. losing them was making me sad but i'm getting over it.

here are a few of my immediate pieces of beauty advice to anyone with cancer or undergoing chemotherapy.

as an aside, unlike most of the cancer advice people give you, in this case, it doesn't matter what kind of cancer you have. it will work.

(most of time, when they say, eat reishi mushrooms at 6am or something like that, what they don't realize is that different therapies work for different cancers and different body types and immune systems. the most irritating thing about healing in general is that our bodies all different and react differently so who knows what will work?)

but this advice is really one size fits all.

ONE

drink a ton of water.

if they tell you to drink 2 to 3 liters of water daily, believe it.

do it.

basically, the chemo is cooking you from the inside. every part of your body is dehydrated and desperate for the same molecules of water. they need them to flush out the chemicals and to revive themselves.

drink

(the

water)


TWO

moisturize like crazy.

if you are a weirdo like me, you will notice immediately that the skin on your body has changed to that dry, papery skin of a very old person.

this is because you are dehydrated.

keep drinking the water and slather on moisturizer as much as you can.

previously, i was never a fan of creme de la mer because it was too much like crisco for me. thick and greasy. and it smells like nivea.

but post-chemo, i put it all over my face and also my scalp and my skin seems to drink it in. i LOVE it.

THREE

give up sugar.

especially white sugar.

it really is bad for you.

there is stuff that is still open for discussion, like grass-fed beef, like cheeses and yogurts, organic vs non.

but sugar causes inflammation. lots of people say cancer feeds on it and it makes tumors grow. i don't have the statistics on that.

what does seem clear is that sugar is hard on all your organs especially your liver and kidneys. those are the ones processing the fall-out from the chemo and fighting all the other toxins in your body.

you are reading a jelly-bean-addicted psycho here. i LOVE LOVE LOVE white sugar. i adore candy in almost every form. i am not a natural broccoli-eater. i can make myself eat cabbage and pretend i love it but i'd really prefer chocolate mousse.

so even if it's just out of vanity - knowing that sugar breaks down the collagen in your skin, so you will definitely age faster if you are eating it - give it up.

i am not going to argue with anyone about fruit or carrots or beets or maple syrup (unless it's to excess) but even agave nectar and high-fructose corn syrup are evil.

do not eat them if you are doing chemo.

or cut back as much as you can.

your face will thank you.